“When I refused to lie to my family, they taunted me, asking if I wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed. Before letting me go, they took my phone, forced me to unlock it, and deleted all my bank statements and chat history. They told me to keep quiet about everything and not report it.”
These are the haunting words of a survivor of dating blackmail.
For many LGBT+ individuals across South Asia, especially in countries like Sri Lanka and Bangladesh where same-sex relationships are criminalised, the internet is more than a social outlet. It is a lifeline. Online platforms become spaces to meet others from the community, seek solidarity, and experience love and acceptance. But these very platforms can also become sites of exploitation.
Recognising this urgent issue, iProbono launched a cross-jurisdictional training program on dating blackmail. With support from Kaleidoscope Trust and funding from the Australian Department for Foreign Affairs and Trade in Sri Lanka and support from Shongshoptok in Bangladesh, these trainings focused on educating lawyers and activists on the patterns of dating blackmail, the legal remedies available, and how to best support survivors.
The first training was held in Colombo, Sri Lanka on 22 March 2025, where 12 lawyers and 10 activists gathered. Shevindri Manuel, Program Manager – Sri Lanka, opened the session by introducing the concept of dating blackmail and the devastating impact it has on the LGBT+ individuals. She unpacked the common tactics used by perpetrators to manipulate, intimidate and silence.
Delan De Silva, a seasoned criminal lawyer, followed with a detailed analysis of the offences relevant to dating blackmail, simplifying complex legal procedures and emphasising the importance of legal representation, particularly when reporting to police, where LGBT+ individuals often face added layers of discrimination and fear.
Adding a cross-border lens, Jubdatul Jabed, Program Manager from Bangladesh, traveled to Colombo to deliver a critical session on digital safety. Their session focused on the ever-evolving threats in digital spaces and how community members can protect themselves online through simple, yet powerful digital safety measures..
The next chapter of the training unfolded in Dhaka, Bangladesh on 12 April 2025. Here, 10 lawyers and 15 activists convened. The session began with Arif Hasan, Organiser, Program & Research at Shongshoptok, who presented a comprehensive understanding of dating blackmail and sextortion, rooted in real-life cases from Bangladesh. His session focused on the psychological impact of such crimes and their broader repercussions.
Jubdatul Jabed led a hands-on training session on secure dating practices and how to identify and guard against online threats, providing participants with a digital toolkit to navigate safely.
Tarek Rahman, Legal Officer, Bangladesh at iProbono, then mapped the legal framework available in the country. His insights spanned existing laws, procedural challenges in filing complaints, and crucial documentation needed to pursue legal action.
In a powerful display of cross-jurisdictional learning opportunities, Shevindri Manuel shared insights from Sri Lanka’s legal interventions in dating blackmail cases. Her session, “Learning from Sri Lankan Legal Strategies & Case Studies,” offered participants a window into survivor-centered advocacy, innovative legal approaches, and court strategies that have proven effective.
This cross-jurisdictional collaboration was essential not only in highlighting the widespread nature of dating blackmail but in fostering a space where shared experiences informed contextual solutions. The exchange of legal strategies, social nuances, and safety practices helped participants draw parallels and distinctions, deepening their understanding of how to respond effectively within their local settings.
What emerged from both training sessions was a shared commitment to protect and empower the LGBT+ community. By investing in the legal and activist frontlines, we aim to create a ripple effect — stronger advocates who, in turn, empower survivors with knowledge, resources, and hope.
Explore our toolkit, “Strength in Solidarity: A Toolkit for LGBT+ Resilience Against Dating Blackmail,” featuring safety strategies, legal guidance, and survivor stories in English, Sinhala, Tamil, and Bangla.
Let’s build safer digital spaces where love and identity are never used against us.
